There are several different dynamics within a friendship. Like any relationship, they are unique and no two are the same. If we had to break down our friendship dynamics by personality we could probably describe a lot of our friends as either:
The Intellectual One. This friend is the one that made it out of ‘hood in theory or the first to leave the nest. They are one of the few to get a bachelor’s degree, master’s degree and might even have a doctorate on the way. They have seen most of the world literally and figuratively and are always eager to share their wisdom with you and let you into their world to offer you a bit of culture. They are well-versed in world issues, pop culture, and music. Sometimes you wonder, “How do they know everything?” Think Gabrielle Union or Yoda.
The Wild One. This friend is always the life of the party. There is never a dull moment and whenever you are bored and need some shenanigans to get into this person has just the thing to cure your boredom. This is the friend who has the scoop on parties and has an address book of all the hottest spots not the mention they know their way around the bar in concocting the perfect cocktail. This friend knows how to have fun in any situation. I’ll admit they can be a little draining at times, but fun nonetheless. Think Rihanna.
The Motherly One. This friend is often charged with being the kill joy of the bunch. Not intentionally, but because they genuinely care about your welfare and you. How many times have you needed a shoulder to cry on or someone to help you pour that glass of wine because you were crying so hard you couldn’t see? *raises hand* I know they can be annoying as ever, but consider yourself lucky to have them. They always have your back without judgment and are always equipped with a spatula to scrape you off the ground when life takes a stab at you. Sometimes we do reckless things for the hell of it. They’re the angel sitting on our right shoulder, the good conscious. Think Clair Huxtable.
The Inspiring One. Have you ever met someone who just shared the same wavelength as you? They love every single thing you love and their dreams and passion for life just inspires you? In turn, you inspire them. This is one of those rare friendships that we all need to experience at least once. This person’s inspiration is what drives you to chase after what inspires you. They are the creative brain in the bunch; the flower child. They are the daydreamer with the severe case of wanderlust. Think Solange Knowles.
The Voice of Reason. Before you make any hasty decisions, this friend is the first person you call. They help you weigh the options of your decisions or what you are about to do. If you find yourself in a situation and need some clarity on what to do moving forward, the voice of reason always helps you through your issues. Ever feel like you’re being irrational? They will let you know and bring you to a reasonable solution. They are able to lay it all out on the table and help you see the full spectrum of things. Think Melissa V. Harris-Perry.
The Troubled One. Let’s face it, no one is perfect, but we all have that one friend who always seems to find themselves in a sticky situation where you have to bail them out. Whether it is a terrible relationship, financial issues, substance abuse, having a friend like this can be unbearable and cause a lot of wear and tear on your own life, however know that they need you and even if you can’t be their friend, still be a source of help from a distance, but remember don’t be an enabler. Know that they need you more than you think. It is one of the worst feelings to need someone and have them turn their back on you. A part of being a good friend is being able to empathize with someone. Think Lindsey Lohan.
If we are fortunate, we have friends in our circle who possess a little bit of all of these qualities. Those always make for well-rounded, lasting friendships.