Shamefully, we can all admit that we have been the type of girl who would give her all to a man without the expectation of getting anything in return. We have all been with a man, whom we have cooked for, paid some bills for, did his laundry, and even cleaned up his place sometimes. As old as time, women have been conditioned to “cater” to their men. We have been conditioned that the only way to keep a man is if we take care of him domestically, play our parts, know our roles, but ladies there’s a difference between being his girlfriend, his wife or worst his mother.

Nowadays, people have the idea of “marriage material” all messed up. Granted, we all have different standards and qualities we look for in a life partner, but if you think cooking and cleaning up after someone equates to you deserving a ring or even a commitment period, then sadly, you are wrong. 

Mutual love, shared values, and the prospects of being great parents and building together is equitable to a relationship that leads to a ring. Don’t be that girl that is so desperate for a man that you would do anything to keep him at the expense of your dignity. Yes, if you’re his girlfriend, be that. Be his companion, but do NOT privilege him with wifely duties. Stop being so hell-bent for a man who is not ready for a commitment with you even if it is as simple as claiming you as his girlfriend. If a man is ready to commit, he will do so regardless of if you can cook or clean.

Love is blind, but even the blind man had wisdom. Don’t be blind and dumb. In the words of Ntozake Shange:

[Your] love is too sanctified to have it thrown back on [your] face. [Your] love is too magic to have it thrown back on [your] face. [Your] love is too “Saturday Night” to have it thrown back in [your] face. [Your] love is too complicated to have it thrown back in [your] face. [Your] love is too music to have it thrown back in [your] face.

Your love is everything to you, therefore proceed with caution and choose wisely with whom you build soul ties with. If a man isn’t interested in you, don’t try to force it. You will only hurt yourself. There’s nothing fun about being strung along and in love to find out that you’re in it alone. Guard your heart ladies and wise up.

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