As a 25 year old, still trying to figure life out, the last thing I need is a pregnancy scare, but it happens more than often to most of us even when we are extra careful. As I approach my quarter life crisis (25) and my biological clock starts to activate, I dream often of a family of my own. However, whether planned or unplanned we often think, are we really equipped to raise a child? Most people believe that our 20’s are our selfish years and our time to really find ourselves. So you can imagine the cardiac arrest a pregnancy scare almost sent me into. Here are five things I learned as I prayed for my next cycle and a negative test result:
- Financial Responsibility
On average the lifetime of a child cost roughly $12,000 a year. Point blank period, I’m 25 and broke. No explanation necessary. But seriously, I’m just getting to a place where I am financially stable enough to not have to ask my parents for money (life after college was rough) and adding another expensive expense to my monthly budget is basically impossible.
- How Unhealthy I Am
Most people believe that I am some sort of health nut. Boy, if only that were true. I do eat healthy, but I also eat unhealthy too. I am a chipotle addict, crave chocolate on a daily basis and live for the juiciest diner burger with bacon and fries and lately I’ve been on this weird pizza flavored pretzel Combos kick. My exercise has been cut to a minimum due to lack of time and I broke up with sleep a couple of months ago and if it weren’t for at least 2 large cups of coffee per day I might not make it. For a single, woman in her twenties this doesn’t sound so bad, but for a pregnant woman who is responsible for the healthy growth of a baby, this sounds terrible.
In a conscious effort to make better choices for myself, I turned to baking and grilling more than frying foods. Even though my time is limited, I make small changes such as walking instead of taking public transportation when the weather permits or hitching a carpool to work or other local places. I eat meals in smaller portions and take my time so that when I’m full my body knows when to stop. I eat more vegetables than ever now. I’m seriously becoming an herbivore. I love raw veggies, grilled veggies, sautéed veggies…you get my point! Once your body starts to crave healthier foods it’ll be difficult for you to make poor eating decisions.
Since I was a kid, my weight has constantly been up and down so I started dancing again. It’s keeping me healthy and I’ve been dancing the pounds off.
- To See The Bigger Picture in Everything
As someone who firmly believes in seizing the moments and making new memories, sometimes we forget to look ahead and think of how our present actions will affect our future. Nothing like a pregnancy scare to have your whole life flash before your eyes. You start to question how the hell you ended up in this situation. Reckless partying, one night stands, hard alcohol and being a sucker for a nice smile…that’s how. You sit and punish yourself with I shouldn’t have done that. But, you did.
Truth is you have the power to affect anyone around you and with a pregnancy scare you will definitely be more cognizant of how you interact with people and the type of impressions you are leaving behind. Life is one bigger picture comprised of puzzle pieces from the past and present. With each day that passes another piece is laid towards creating this final result.
- The Importance of Love/Relationships
It is often that we find ourselves in situations where we think we are in love, but aren’t. With a pregnancy scare, it showed me how important love and relationships are to me. Let’s be honest, even though we women are more than capable of being superwomen I still want to have a baby with a man I am married to. Love and sex creates soul ties and with a baby in the mix, I wouldn’t want my child and I to be connected to a man that shares no vibes in my life. It’s the worst thing to have a child in the middle of a sticky adult situation.
I still have time to grow up before I get serious about the idea of children and marriage. There is still a foundation that needs to be laid for myself before I can take on that responsibility.
- There’s Still Time To Grow Up
Seriously, what’s the rush? At 25, there should be no reason my ovaries are giving me grief. At one point I was hell bent on meeting a man and having a baby, but when I looked around me, I realized there was a lot in my life missing and it’s never too late to go after those things. I started thinking about the legacy I would be leaving for my child and that was a depressing revelation. I realized even though I’ve accomplished so much on paper, I still had nothing to show for, nothing to pass down. How the heck am I going to raise a baby on nothing?
I decided to pause my biological clock and focus more on my legacy and what I would be passing down to my child then actually having one right now. There’s a world that I need to see as a single woman. So many experiences to be made, so many blank pages that need to be filled so I can share the book of my life with my un-conceived, unborn child.