Three Stages of PMS Guys Fall Victim To

Once a month we tend to turn into Godzilla as our bodies go into overdrive to figure out what the hell is going on with us! We deal with all types of symptoms and tend to have no remorse of the misery we put our men through. They’re never prepared to deal with these four PMS symptoms we dish out at them:

Endless and out of control appetite. Seriously, where does all my food go? It’s like packing away the calories becomes irrelevant once a month. The only thing letting you know they’re not pregnancy cravings is the uproar your uterus has you in. One moment it’s something sweet the next you need something salty to “balance out the sugar” you just consumed. It’s chicken one minute and the next you just want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but while you’re curled up in bed in the fetal position as Mother Nature kicks your tush, you have no intentions of getting up to fetch your own twisted meal concoctions. Fellas, that where you come in and make sure you get it right or else Medusa will rear her ugly head.

Mood Swings. It’s really not you, fellas. It’s us. We can’t help it if Dex finally admitting his love for Rachel and leaving her best friend Darcy in “Something Borrowed” makes us cry. We can’t help it if Jane marrying Kevin Doyle in “27 Dresses” finally making her the bride and not another bridesmaid for the 28th time makes us sigh from romance overload. Let us be if we want to just sit and play sad music and cry for no reason. Please forgive us if watching another episode of Love & Hip Hop suddenly puts you in the doghouse and you haven’t even done anything. It’s just the way our body rewires during that time of the month. We’re sorry we snapped on you for not cleaning the dishes the right way or for not cleaning up the tiniest crumb you left on the stove.

Freaky Francine. It’s like waiting to see the solar eclipse. It comes once in a while, but when it does you’re glad you didn’t miss it. Fellas, I know she may be draining you, literally, but like Joni said, “You don’t know what you got til it’s gone…” Once a month when her hormones are out of wack and her uterus is preparing for a new opportunity as she fights off conception, take pleasure in her wanting to jump your bone, you might not get this chance for another month.

2 Comments

  1. I love that for at least a week before my cycle my husband is nothing more than a piece of meat to me. He pisses me off, yet I just want to do him all day lol. It’s so twisted, smh. Ohhh to be a woman…

    Like

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