After being single, for some time, I decided it would be nice to meet some people. See what the dating life is like these days. So my friend recommended Tinder, but who really goes on Tinder looking for a serious date? I learned that the hard way when I was disgusted by the men I “matched” with. I found OkCupid to be a little bit more intriguing though. There were all types of guys, but I began to notice a pattern or a specific type of guy I kept running into. I’m sure this stands true for several of you who have tried online dating and I’m sure we can all agree on these six types of guys you’re more than likely to run into.
1. The Yuppie. The guy with hella post of himself in what appears to be expensive suits, standing in front of a luxury car. The guy with pictures of himself smoking a cigar, probably Cuban with an expensive bottle of champagne. He’ll message you, and will probably say something like, “Hey nice to meet you, I think you’re gorgeous. I would love to take you on vacations and dates and show you the world.” Earth to Christian Grey, this is real life, not 50 shades, so asking someone you don’t know online to go n vacations with you is creepy. His profile will probably outline his yuppie education with a job description as either, law, medical, or other because he’s working as a business consultant and owns several small ventures.
2. The Illiterate. Either he’s typing too fast and isn’t spell checking or he just can’t spell. He’ll start off by saying, “U is beautiful. Let’s meat.” or “Waz gud. I red ur profile and thot u was intesting.” Ummm…I don’t know about you, but I work for the grammar police and this would boil my blood. It’s just a red flag and the quickest way to get ignored or blocked.
3. The “Trap Thug.” Sometimes synonymous to “The Illiterate,” but is different because this is the guy you’ll most likely see in someone’s entourage posing in sidewalk pictures in front of what appears to be a rundown row-house. This is the “Waz gud ma” guy who thinks the best way to entice women is by posting wads of cash, weed, and gold chains in his profile pictures. The guy with the golden teeth that makes it hard for him to talk without slobbing. Granted, most women like a little danger, but that’s just reckless living and I’ll pass.
4. The Average Joe. He’s just a typical button up and slacks kind of guy. Sometimes jeans and a tee. Most of his pictures are backyard pictures, or bar pictures, or living room pictures with family members. He has a typical education and works in business. He’s usually just looking for some normal conversation and maybe a couple of dates and someone who could eventually meet his family.
5. The “I’m Just Gonna Try My Luck” Guy. This guy seriously makes you wonder, did you even read my profile? He’s usually the least compatible ever from religious beliefs to lifestyle choices. My preferences said between 25-30, sir you look like you’re 50. No smoking, and you smoke a pack a day. Spiritual preference is important to me, but you’re an atheist. You didn’t read my profile, you just looked at my pictures and figured you would try your luck. Well, you got unlucky.
6. The Artist, “What is Life?” Guy. His profile doesn’t say much about him except that he’s into art and love anime. His profile pictures seem like some experimental photography project. He’s a writer and poet. Usually a student with no real place of employment. Makes for good conversation and friendship, but dating probably won’t go anywhere further.
You spend hours filling out profile questions and uploading your best picture and even if you match with 250 guys, you’ll meet these six types over and over again in all these men.