When I was a kid, I loved watching cartoons, what kid didn’t? I really loved the classic ones like The Looney Tunes, Scooby Doo, The Smurfs, Flintstones, The Jetsons, Popeye, you know, the ones that got bumped to Boomerang and then off the air completely. I would stay up late nights and hoped that my mom didn’t put the sleep timer on the tv because the later it got, the more classic the cartoons got. I would watch The Perils of Penelope Pitstop every night before bed because it always seemed to be the last thing before the tv screen went blank. My time was up.
I thought it was interesting how Penelope was always painted as a damsel in distress, but in reality she was a powerful woman in her own right. She was a heiress to a massive fortune and while she was beautiful, she was more than that. She was a pilot, a race car driver and star athlete according to her days in college with shit loads of ingenuity. In every episode she was always captured by the Hooded Claw who was her legal guardian and estate manager in disguise. His plot was always to kill her so that he can steal her inheritance. It’s crazy how the people closest to you who have your best interest at heart are the same ones who could easily rob you. No matter how helpless Penelope was whether she was tied to a tree log or railroad tracks, she never failed to use her resources and spontaneous creativity to escape. For me, I found stories. Stories of laughter, sadness and hopelessness to share.
I chose to name this column “The Perils of Wanderlust Dej” because I often find myself trying to protect the biggest and most valuable inheritance I have in my life: a heart full of love to give. There are times when I encounter a Hooded Claw, someone who at first claims to be interested in me, wants to get to know me, but underneath the surface just wants my inheritance and to leave me with nothing. It sounds extreme, but in this day and age is dating really all that simple anymore? Most people are interest in what you have. Some people would rather get that instant gratification rather than taking time to establish something real. As a hopeless romantic, I often find myself helplessly drawn to a guy and he’ll only be interested in the idea of me. I look good on paper as if dating me would help their resumes look good. I don’t get it and while I’m no damsel in distress and rarely needs saving, I can always count on my Ant Hill Mob (best friends) to show up just in time to save me from myself more than anything and share a good laugh about it.
It’s not like I’m on some rat race to settle down and get married, but it’s nice to have someone to share moments with. It’s nice to have a companion when I need some affection and it’s nice to be able to build a foundation with someone, but my life just gets wackier and wackier. I meet all types of creeps, I meet the nice ones with the worst timing, I meet the second guessers, I meet the wannabe players…the rainbow is never out of a color. It’s insane when all I want is a nice, honest and normal guy who knows how to use his adult words to articulate what he wants. Any who, I yearn for the old-fashioned way of dating, like the classic cartoons. Bring em back!
Each day that passes, I find myself learning something new about men and dating. I find myself on some of the most awkward dates, and in some of the most interesting situations planning my exit. I can’t wait to share with you!