So it’s Monday morning and as much as I’d like to say that when my alarm goes off I jump out the bed all ecstatic and ready to tackle the day, but the first thing I do is check the time and give myself the green light to stay in bed a little while longer. So naturally I check all my notifications on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. Then I check my email which is usually just junk mail and with some important notes sprinkled here and there. Today, however, I’m scrolling through my Facebook News feed and I see a video of some guy ranting on and on about how he hate conceited girls in the clubs. He talked about how a “chick” can be dancing and you dance up on them and they shut you down or walk away “acting like they’re better than you.” I wasn’t going to respond, but since I knew him, I felt it was safe someone check him on his thought process.

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I asked him did it ever occur to him that when a woman decides to go out clubbing with her girls, it’s not to hook up or be harassed by some random guy. She just simply wants to spend time with her girls, unwinding and having some fun. I asked him did it ever occur to him that she shut him down or walked away from him because he entered into her space without her permission. I asked him did he ever think about the fact that walking up to a woman and grinding his penis on her ass is a violation of her body. I then explained to him the proper way to get her attention.

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  • If you see a woman who catches your attention at the club, observe her behaviors before approaching her. Is she there is with group of women? Is she only dancing around with her girls? Does she look like she doesn’t want to be bothered by anyone but her girls? When you can clearly answer these questions then carry on.
  • If you are interested in dancing with her:
    • Walk up to her like a grown man with two fully functional legs. Do NOT just dance up behind her and assume that it’s okay.
    • Say, “Hi my name is ______. I think that you are really pretty (or something along those lines.) Keep it clean and rated PG.
    • ASK her if she is interested in dancing with you. Do NOT assume!
    • If she says no, thank her for her time and WALK AWAY.
    • DO NOT proceed to cuss at her.
    • DO NOT call her out of her name.

There is something lethal about the male ego. It’s so fragile. I see it time and time again. People ask is feminism relevant. Many have responded “a man in a room full of women hit the jackpot, but a woman in a room full of men is the most terrifying thing ever.” This is why we need feminism. A woman can’t even have fun with her friends without being harassed. She can’t walk down the street in her own neighborhood without the cat-calling followed by the slurs because she chose to ignore them. This leaves many of us asking #YouOkSis?

One thought on “#YouOkSis | Girl’s Night Out

  1. Great post! The stigma around men and women going to the club just to “hook up” is quite annoying. Totally right, girls like to spend the night out together, and that means dancing together and looking out for one another. If you intrude in our space at the club and make us uncomfortable, then yeah, walking away and linking back to our girlfriends may as well be the solution. It’s a club, and people are there for different reasons, really. Respect that~

    p.s. i like how you included how to approach a woman if interested in dancing with her 🙂
    I met my boyfriend at the club when I was out with a girlfriend. He was all around polite about everything and it made me at ease and I enjoyed dancing with him~ haha

    Like

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