The Cancerous C Word | Comparison

“Her hair is so much better and longer than mine.” “Everybody getting married and having kids and I’m still trying to figure my life out.” “I wish I had her life.” “I have bad luck, my life sucks.” “How come here chose her over me?” “#RelationshipGoals.”

Be honest, you’re guilty of doing this aren’t you? You have sat around sulking every time you see someone announcing their engagement; your friend getting a promotion; someone booking that vacation you’ve been dreaming about and you wonder “why not me?” It’s not that you’re not happy for them, you’re just wondering how come these things aren’t happening for you. You bargain and rationalize with the universe that you’re a good person and a law-abiding citizen and these things should be happening to you. You should be getting a promotion, you should be someone’s relationship goal, you should be jetsetting and backpacking around the world. You work hard and toil, so why can’t this be you? Right?

Comparison is like cancer. It’s a tumor that grows and grows the more we sulk. Like cancer, it feeds on the unhealthy. We ingest all these thoughts that we’re not good enough, we’re underappreciated, we’re failures and losers and it was away at us emotionally, mentally, spiritually and sometimes physically. We convince ourselves of these things and believe them so, every time we see a “I/She said yes” post; an “I got the job” post or a  beautifully posted visual of someone soaking up some island sun and fun, comparison and the greener pastures rear their ugly heads.

Part of this is due to our selfish sense of entitlement. It’s the idea that we deserve everything someone else gets. What’s unfortunate is that human nature is set up that way. While you’re comparing yourself to someone, someone is comparing themselves to you. We’re never satisfied or content with what we have because our sights are always set on how full someone else’s pot is. While we’re pouring all of our energy into someone else’s pot, who’s filling ours?

We each have blueprints. We’ve had our entire lives mapped out and even though we might not be where we want to be, who really knows their end result? I planned my life out once and I ended up somewhere completely different. Here’s the thing about blueprints in terms of our lives. They can be very intricate. Some are big, some are small. Some are single level while others have multiple levels and layers. Some are detailed while others are simple. While you’re sitting figuring out someone else’s blueprint and looking at how simple it is, you’re not even paying attention to the foundation of your structure.

Science tells us the quickest way to kill or stabilize a cancer tumor is to starve it. Rid yourself of all those unhealthy thoughts and replace them by counting your blessings. I started a Happiness/Blessings Jar to keep me focused. Each time something makes me happy, God blesses me, or I have a moment or experience that I want to remember I write it on a strip of paper and place it into a jar. The idea is to read it at the end of the year, but whenever you’re feeling lost or depressed and you want to compare yourself to someone pop open that jar and COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS!

1 Comment

  1. I’m SOO super guilty of comparison, I admit it!! What I’ve done for the past couple of years is this: Whenever I find myself comparing myself and feeling bummed about it, I’d stop and list five blessings in my life. It counteracts the negative effects and it directs my attention to something positive!!


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