I am running off at most one hour of sleep this morning and I don’t think any amount of Dunkin Donuts is going to help me today. This weekend I lost a close cousin. No one saw it coming. She wasn’t sick or anything and just collapsed. I got the call at 6am on Saturday from my grandmother and it still hasn’t fully sunk in that she’s gone yet. Last night I found myself worrying. My mind was preoccupied with so many things that wouldn’t let me sleep. I knew I was going to pay for the lack of sleep today and while I should be listening to music with a more upbeat tempo, this Jersey weather, family sadness and just my extreme exhaustion wants something a bit more relaxing.
The hardest part for me today is finding order in my discombobulated mind but hopefully the more I’m able to relax, the more I’m able to make sense of the day and find some clarity. I say it everyday, but a peace retreat in the mountains without technology is so necessary right now. I just really want a classic typewriter to carry with me to finish up some writing and just rest without responsibility.