I had a very candid conversation with my significant other last night about my struggles with weight, body image and self-esteem which all date back to my teen years. I’ve put on weight. I can create all types of euphemisms for it and say I’m pleasantly plump, or I have “relationship weight” or I’m healthy and thick, but truth be told I just have a portion control issue and since being back in my hometown, I’ve become dormant because there’s nothing to do here. There’s a lot less activity in my life. There’s a lot more unwanted responsibilities. I eat more, I move less…which is unacceptable. Since I can remember, my weight has been on a constant roller coaster ride. When it’s down, it’s extremely down, but when it’s up, it’s the most depressing thing ever. The holidays happened. Thanksgiving came and it was cookies and pies and cakes and brownies. My birthday came and it was cake. Christmas came and it was cookies, and cakes, and brownies and pies. New Years came and it was cookies, cakes and pies and brownies and before I knew it, the hardest things for me to do was pull my pants up over my rump or zip my skirt up around my waist. It was gradual, but it seems like it happened so fast. I’m barely hanging on to my size 8 jeans…barely, so I decided during that conversation last night there were some changes to be made. So we’re doing this together. He too shared with me his struggles and it was nice to know that someone was understanding and on board with the movement. So OPERATION FIT commences!
I know this will be difficult for me because for the first time in three years I have this weight on me. Living on my own made it easier to maintain a small size because I shopped more consciously and was more active. I walked everywhere so I didn’t workout. Now I have to be more intentional about what I eat, I have to make being active a habit now, but I’m glad that I don’t have to walk the journey alone.
We made the decision that this was going to be our lifestyles. Not just a routine we adopt until we reach our goal weights so we wanted to adopt some things that appeal to the mind, body and spirit. We established some ground rules.
NO Junk Food
If we are going to make healthy goals towards losing weight the first to go was the cookies, cakes, pies and brownies. I have an extreme sweet tooth which makes this the hardest thing I’ll be doing. No more late night snacking. No more mug cakes, no more cookies and no more brownies and mindless munching.
My work doesn’t require me to leave the house. So I often find myself in couch potato mode. The weather is changing and getting nicer and even though the sights aren’t grand here, getting out and going for walks, jogs and making it to fitness classes at LEAST three times a week is necessary. I’ve already signed up for classes and a gym membership, but on days I can’t make it, there’s a nice park in my area that I can walk. No excuses Deja!
Set an Appropriate Bedtime
My sleeping patterns are all out of wack. Some nights I don’t sleep. Some days I sleep in. Some nights I sleep fine while I’m up all day. Setting a standard and appropriate bed time is crucial to a healthy metabolism. I’ve realized that the later I stay up, the more susceptible I am to the late night snacking. It’ll start with grabbing a handful of crackers, then cookies that my dad likes to leave on the kitchen table and cups of sugary juice and then individually wrapped cakes. There’s also boredom eating.
I’ve realized that since being here my morale has been extremely low. It’s affecting my writing and my entire creative process as a whole. Some days I feel dead on the inside. Like I’m just floating through the day. So setting aside time a day for meditation and reading scripture is important to a healthy lifestyle. When your spirit is well, so is your mind.
Be Your Own Keeper
I’ve tried gym buddies, accountability partners, etc but when they disappoint me I always end up disappointing myself. Sure I’m doing this with my boyfriend, but if I don’t take my own initiatives and motivate myself, he can’t do it for me. I’m learning to depend less on people and more on myself because at the end of the day I am responsible for my own health.
Today is Day 1 of my journey and the cravings for sweets are intense, but it was finally great to get outside from some fresh air and vitamin D.