I recently came across a quote that read “Self-talk is the channel to change behavior” and it got me to thinking about some of the struggles I deal with on a spiritual level that affect my entire lifestyle from work to relationships to my overall well-being. I’ve been trying to come to terms and really figure out what I want to do with my life and at 26, I feel like I should be well on my way, but I’m not. I’ve found myself working at so many jobs that’s left me feeling unfulfilled. I’ve found myself in so many unhappy and dead end dating situations. So I had a moment where I thought about it all. I spoke them out loud. I had a conversation with myself and I decided that if I was going to struggle, it would be because I’m taking risks and working towards something that I love rather than struggling to be comfortable in uncomfortable situations. I had to access my struggles and ask myself am I struggling because I’m being stretched? Is it because I’m put in a vulnerable position to learn and grow from or is it because I’m trying to force a lifestyle that I have no business in? For any that fit the category of the latter, I realized it’s okay to wave the white flag or throw in the towel.

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Most times we hear you have to stay strong and see things through which in turn implicates that giving up and quitting aren’t admirable traits, but in my opinion, it takes a special kind of courage to walk away from situations that no longer serve you well especially if you’ve gotten into a routine or a complacent place in your life. Sometimes it’s even hard to recognize those safety nets for what they are because they feel right in that moment but in the long run they aren’t.

Giving up isn’t always a bad thing. When your heart is no longer in something, walking away is okay. When your situation becomes unhealthy, it’s okay to give it up. When it’s changing you for the worst and pulling you away from the things that you love, it’s okay to say “no more.” When better doors are opening up and your intuition is leading you down a different path, it’s okay to want the finer things in store for you. We have such a twisted perception of what it means to give up that we often times don’t see giving up as a mean to also gain so we find ourselves stuck. We become stuck in dull relationships, accumulating years without substance. We find ourselves stuck at dead end jobs without promotions, growth or raises. We find ourselves taking up pew space at churches that no longer feed us spiritually. We become just another woodwork to society and that’s no way to live. I’ve learned to wave my white flag when necessary and be okay that I did it. I’ve learned to walk away from situations without regret because I know that I did the right thing. I realized that everyone isn’t going to like every decision I make, but the life that I live is mine alone therefore, doing what’s best for me is always a good decision.

2 thoughts on “Accessing My Struggles & Why I’m Okay With Giving Up

  1. Sometimes we have to “let go and let God.” That saying has been helpful to me a certain times in my life. It’s tempting for people like us with strong work ethics to tough things out even when it’s not good for us, so I’m happy for you that you’re letting yourself give up sometimes. Failure takes you to the next success, for sure.

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  2. “I had a conversation with myself and I decided that if I was going to struggle, it would be because I’m taking risks and working towards something that I love rather than struggling to be comfortable in uncomfortable situations. I had to access my struggles and ask myself am I struggling because I’m being stretched? Is it because I’m put in a vulnerable position to learn and grow from or is it because I’m trying to force a lifestyle that I have no business in?” THIS. It speaks to me like crazy. Couldn’t agree more with your article as I came to the same conclusion a year ago!

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