Okay, so last year I wrote a post about self-actualization and how according to Maslow, I’m still single because I just haven’t figured out my life and it was the truth then, but a lot has changed in my life since that post. I’ve grown so much professionally and have carved out a really solid path for myself that grows wider and wider each day.
I often find myself having these metacognitive moments when I’m reflecting on my life and lately it’s been my love life. I find myself bored easily. I’m left unimpressed and I can’t seem to date on my level. I delete and reactivate my dating site apps like a broke person in an unhealthy relationship with Sprint (seriously, Sprint sucks, but they’re affordable). I can’t find a guy who can carry a decent conversation with an adult aged vocabulary, a man with enough balls to relentlessly and fearlessly follow his dreams, a man who hasn’t gotten too comfortable with the mediocrity of their life. What gives? Seriously.
It’s just been one long “eh” of left swipes, blocks, ghosting, falling back, and moving on. So these days I find myself becoming more and more blunt with my words because I really don’t have any patience left for dumb shit.
So I’ve decided to iron out what qualifies as “eh” to what qualifies as “Zaaammmn Zaddy” (this phrase is stored in my phone’s dictionary) because who has time to be wasted anymore?
These are seriously my “steer clear of” qualities of an “eh.” I don’t care how good you look. Ladies, leave these fine, dumb men alone. They’ll only stunt your growth and melt a few brain cells in the process. Seriously, don’t slide up in my DMs if you seriously have nothing to offer.
A “zamn zaddy” is another type of man. Zamn zaddy is that initial reaction when you first see him because he looks good, but it’s when you get to know him, pick his brain with some questioning and get some stellar answers that you go zaaammnnn zadddyyy…yeah, well I’ve only had that reaction in fiction, but I still have hope.
So I’m still single because I haven’t come across this zamn zaddy figure and the ones I have are emotionally unavailable, but all jokes aside, I’m learning how to not sell myself short when it comes to men. I take my life seriously. I take my career seriously and everything that I’m building, so it’s time for my love life to be a reflection of that as well. Either that, or don’t date at all.
I’m also learning to be patient. It’s a virtue for a reason. Rushing for that instant gratification of not being alone has often left me with long-term disappointment to heal from. So I figure if I want to stop being in periods of healing, how about I stop putting myself in situations to get hurt. Right?
Any who, ladies I say all of that to say, there are plenty of fish in the sea so if the one you catch ain’t it, toss it back and wait for a better one. Trust me there’s always better.