The Speaking Got Easier

It’s Friday and there are approximately 5 hours left in my work day before spring break. As I sit in the emptiness of my classroom, I reflect. Going into the last of the first quarter of the year, I reflect on all of my accomplishments, new opportunities, blessings, abundance and the amount of gratitude I feel for it all.


As I am planning an 8-week curriculum for Curate Your Life, I came across a quote by Audre Lorde that screamed to me. It spoke to me so loudly that I was overwhelmed with that feeling of certainty you get when you know you are exactly where you need to be and that you are about to catapult into something super great. The speaking got easier. She said:

“The speaking will get easier and easier. And you will find you have fallen in love with your own vision, which you may never have realized you had. And you will lose some friends and lovers, and realize you don’t miss them. And new ones will find you and cherish you. And at last you’ll know with surpassing certainty that only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth. And that is not speaking.”

The speaking got easier. I swear to y’all it did. Curate Your Life was never a vision. It wasn’t even a dream. It was something that just happened when I started to speak and literally stopped trying to plan my path and just let it happen the way it should. All of the right people came into my life and all of the wrong people left. I’ve never been more certain in my life about my life and as Audre said, the only thing more frightening than taking risk and living my truth is not living my truth and playing it safe.

In order for the speaking to get louder sometimes you have to be very still. Sometimes you have to stop talking. Sometimes you have to stop moving and be..very…quiet…I’ve done a lot of stopping and standing so far this year so that I could listen, so that the speaking could get louder.

I didn’t give this vision to myself, but I have fallen in love with the vision that was given to me.

I say all of that to say, be quiet sometimes. Just stop and listen to what’s being spoken to you and it will get louder. So loud that it will be impossible to ignore.


The Drop Out: Why I Quit Grad School

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It was 2016, I was 26, unemployed with a Bachelor and Master’s degree and an amazing digital portfolio…sitting at home, chasing freelance gigs to keep my bills paid, trying to figure my life out. Some would call it a quarter life crisis, but looking back, I just think God had me in a position where he wanted me to sit still, regroup and get back to the drawing board. That summer of 2016, I thought of Curate Your Life. It was a simple phrase that I applied to my own life that was more uplifting than just kicking myself and telling myself to get my shit together, but then I started thinking about this “quarter life crisis” and how common it was for us to often find ourselves in a place of questioning ourselves and it doesn’t start at 25…the first quarter of life. It starts at 10 and then again at 13 and then again at 15 and 16 and again at 18 and 21 and so on until the flowers, along with our bodies have been laid to rest.


But that summer, I was just so miserable. I had finally gotten the freedom I wanted from 9 to 5 life, but the money wasn’t right to help me fund my dreams. I was broke. Had all the time in the day, but no money to do anything with it. So I went back to work. I got a teaching job that required me to go back to grad school yet again. Reluctantly I accepted because I wanted to get the experience of teaching and saw it as a bridge to my goals, but the school part, I didn’t want.

As the months went on and 2017 rolled around, Curate Your Life became more tangible. The opportunities began to pop up for me to insert myself at the right places at the right times. The networking and tribe building leveled up to newer heights and I sat and wondered…why do I need school right now? Is it really necessary to accumulate more debt and stress myself out for a piece of paper to validate what God had already confirmed in my life months ago?

I had to put impulsive Deja aside and really sit and think strategically about all of this. By nature, I am not a quitter, but given the amount of stress and emotional turmoil I found myself dealing with because of grad school, I felt it was in my best interest to withdraw. God has already validated Curate Your Life for me, he has already given me so many visions to fuel my drive, he has already told me what it was gonna be, so once again I had to sit myself down and listen.

I say all of that to say, when God had given you a purpose or a gift, sure you might want to rush the process and do things your own way, or you might want to walk away from certain things because they just don’t make sense at the moment, but remember if it is so, the Universe will act and respond accordingly.


Curating Your Social Media for a Happy Life

There are a number of reasons why we use social media. You might be an entrepreneur using social media to market your brand. You might use social media to keep in touch with friends and family in other states, cities or countries. You might use social media just for fun, but for whatever reason there are always those Negative Nancys that slip through the cracks and onto your feed with their dark rain clouds ready to ruin your parade. Here are some ways to make sure your feed is feeding you positive energy and how to get rid of the negative energy.

2000px-f_icon-svgFor Facebook: Get acquainted with the “Unfollow” button

I cannot tell you how tired I get logging on to Facebook and seeing a plethora of fight videos. You would think adults would have more sense than that to know it’s never okay to post videos of people fighting. It’s not edifying to anyone and what does fighting solve anyway? I cannot tell you how tired I am of seeing people use Facebook as their personal diaries to attack others. Okay, you’re hurt…someone made you upset, handle it like a mature person offline. I. Am. Tirrred, but that’s nothing a quick unfollow can’t fix. You don’t have to completely unfriend them if you still wish to stay in touch, but unfollowing is step one to getting rid of that negative mess. BUT if all else fails, you can just unfriend that person…seriously, you don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.

twitter-iconFor Twitter: Mute

So Twitter has this new feature that allows you to mute certain topics or trending hashtags so if someone is tweeting about those things, they will never come across your timeline. In a world where we love to hate Trump, I cannot tell you how helpful that is. I mean sure I like to be aware of what’s happening in the world, but give me an emotional and mental break from it all. Some days I just love scrolling up and down my timeline seeing all of the powerful women and men I follow with their powerful and inspiring quotes and tweets. Sometimes you just need to wrap yourself in a bubble of positivity and leave that other mess on the outside.

instagram_new-512For Instagram: Unfollow

News is never “new” for long and it’s only a matter of time before it’s just completely over-saturated with the same things. Example: Beyonce announcing her pregnancy, well for starters, that’s not news to me, but seeing that SAME damn picture up and down my feed for two days straight annoyed the crap outta me. Everybody posting the same thing at the same time. The same memes, the same quotes cropping out the originator to make it seem like it’s theirs. The same twerk videos, the same fight videos, nonsense. Just hit the unfollow button. You won’t miss them. Trust me.

Sometimes when using social media we confuse being informed as being immersed and we spent hours scrolling and clicking through our social media apps and when it’s laden with negative images, bad news, and just overall ridiculousness, it can affect our mental and emotional health and leaves us in a bad state of mind. Just as you designate certain days to clean house, make sure you are taking the time to clean up your social media often.