The Drop Out: Why I Quit Grad School

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It was 2016, I was 26, unemployed with a Bachelor and Master’s degree and an amazing digital portfolio…sitting at home, chasing freelance gigs to keep my bills paid, trying to figure my life out. Some would call it a quarter life crisis, but looking back, I just think God had me in a position where he wanted me to sit still, regroup and get back to the drawing board. That summer of 2016, I thought of Curate Your Life. It was a simple phrase that I applied to my own life that was more uplifting than just kicking myself and telling myself to get my shit together, but then I started thinking about this “quarter life crisis” and how common it was for us to often find ourselves in a place of questioning ourselves and it doesn’t start at 25…the first quarter of life. It starts at 10 and then again at 13 and then again at 15 and 16 and again at 18 and 21 and so on until the flowers, along with our bodies have been laid to rest.

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But that summer, I was just so miserable. I had finally gotten the freedom I wanted from 9 to 5 life, but the money wasn’t right to help me fund my dreams. I was broke. Had all the time in the day, but no money to do anything with it. So I went back to work. I got a teaching job that required me to go back to grad school yet again. Reluctantly I accepted because I wanted to get the experience of teaching and saw it as a bridge to my goals, but the school part, I didn’t want.

As the months went on and 2017 rolled around, Curate Your Life became more tangible. The opportunities began to pop up for me to insert myself at the right places at the right times. The networking and tribe building leveled up to newer heights and I sat and wondered…why do I need school right now? Is it really necessary to accumulate more debt and stress myself out for a piece of paper to validate what God had already confirmed in my life months ago?

I had to put impulsive Deja aside and really sit and think strategically about all of this. By nature, I am not a quitter, but given the amount of stress and emotional turmoil I found myself dealing with because of grad school, I felt it was in my best interest to withdraw. God has already validated Curate Your Life for me, he has already given me so many visions to fuel my drive, he has already told me what it was gonna be, so once again I had to sit myself down and listen.

I say all of that to say, when God had given you a purpose or a gift, sure you might want to rush the process and do things your own way, or you might want to walk away from certain things because they just don’t make sense at the moment, but remember if it is so, the Universe will act and respond accordingly.

xoxo

Curating Your Social Media for a Happy Life

There are a number of reasons why we use social media. You might be an entrepreneur using social media to market your brand. You might use social media to keep in touch with friends and family in other states, cities or countries. You might use social media just for fun, but for whatever reason there are always those Negative Nancys that slip through the cracks and onto your feed with their dark rain clouds ready to ruin your parade. Here are some ways to make sure your feed is feeding you positive energy and how to get rid of the negative energy.

2000px-f_icon-svgFor Facebook: Get acquainted with the “Unfollow” button

I cannot tell you how tired I get logging on to Facebook and seeing a plethora of fight videos. You would think adults would have more sense than that to know it’s never okay to post videos of people fighting. It’s not edifying to anyone and what does fighting solve anyway? I cannot tell you how tired I am of seeing people use Facebook as their personal diaries to attack others. Okay, you’re hurt…someone made you upset, handle it like a mature person offline. I. Am. Tirrred, but that’s nothing a quick unfollow can’t fix. You don’t have to completely unfriend them if you still wish to stay in touch, but unfollowing is step one to getting rid of that negative mess. BUT if all else fails, you can just unfriend that person…seriously, you don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.

twitter-iconFor Twitter: Mute

So Twitter has this new feature that allows you to mute certain topics or trending hashtags so if someone is tweeting about those things, they will never come across your timeline. In a world where we love to hate Trump, I cannot tell you how helpful that is. I mean sure I like to be aware of what’s happening in the world, but give me an emotional and mental break from it all. Some days I just love scrolling up and down my timeline seeing all of the powerful women and men I follow with their powerful and inspiring quotes and tweets. Sometimes you just need to wrap yourself in a bubble of positivity and leave that other mess on the outside.

instagram_new-512For Instagram: Unfollow

News is never “new” for long and it’s only a matter of time before it’s just completely over-saturated with the same things. Example: Beyonce announcing her pregnancy, well for starters, that’s not news to me, but seeing that SAME damn picture up and down my feed for two days straight annoyed the crap outta me. Everybody posting the same thing at the same time. The same memes, the same quotes cropping out the originator to make it seem like it’s theirs. The same twerk videos, the same fight videos, nonsense. Just hit the unfollow button. You won’t miss them. Trust me.

Sometimes when using social media we confuse being informed as being immersed and we spent hours scrolling and clicking through our social media apps and when it’s laden with negative images, bad news, and just overall ridiculousness, it can affect our mental and emotional health and leaves us in a bad state of mind. Just as you designate certain days to clean house, make sure you are taking the time to clean up your social media often.

xoxo

Living My Spiritual Truth

1480969527417I grew up in a family that was and is very much rooted in Christianity and the church. My father was recently “installed” as the pastor of the church I grew up in. My mother is now a first lady and missionary. One of my grandmothers is a church mother, the other is an evangelist. My uncle is a Pastor and my aunt is a first lady as well…you get the point because the list goes on. As a kid, I was active in Sunday school, the youth choir, the junior usher board, and the youth ministry programs and activities, but as I got older, none of it felt authentic to me. It was as if I was programmed to practice Christianity because that’s what my parents practiced and their parents and so on, but I never felt like I belonged there. I felt fake. I felt like I was going through the motions.

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When I got to college, my first couple of years, Christianity and church were the last things on my mind. I was in a new environment completely free from my parents who didn’t wake me up every Sunday morning to get dressed for a long day in church. I felt free. I felt liberated from it all. Somewhere along the way, I tuned into all the background noise telling me I needed to be in church, and I needed to read my bible and I needed to pray and there I was feeling guilty because I wasn’t doing any of those things. So once again, I found myself in church, and attending campus small groups during the week trying to fake it until I made it. I pledged a Christian sorority and found myself with more questions than answers trying to reach a standard I really didn’t care too much about in the first place. I got tired and burnt out from trying to keep up. So I stopped.  Continue reading “Living My Spiritual Truth”