Curating Your Social Media for a Happy Life

There are a number of reasons why we use social media. You might be an entrepreneur using social media to market your brand. You might use social media to keep in touch with friends and family in other states, cities or countries. You might use social media just for fun, but for whatever reason there are always those Negative Nancys that slip through the cracks and onto your feed with their dark rain clouds ready to ruin your parade. Here are some ways to make sure your feed is feeding you positive energy and how to get rid of the negative energy.

2000px-f_icon-svgFor Facebook: Get acquainted with the “Unfollow” button

I cannot tell you how tired I get logging on to Facebook and seeing a plethora of fight videos. You would think adults would have more sense than that to know it’s never okay to post videos of people fighting. It’s not edifying to anyone and what does fighting solve anyway? I cannot tell you how tired I am of seeing people use Facebook as their personal diaries to attack others. Okay, you’re hurt…someone made you upset, handle it like a mature person offline. I. Am. Tirrred, but that’s nothing a quick unfollow can’t fix. You don’t have to completely unfriend them if you still wish to stay in touch, but unfollowing is step one to getting rid of that negative mess. BUT if all else fails, you can just unfriend that person…seriously, you don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.

twitter-iconFor Twitter: Mute

So Twitter has this new feature that allows you to mute certain topics or trending hashtags so if someone is tweeting about those things, they will never come across your timeline. In a world where we love to hate Trump, I cannot tell you how helpful that is. I mean sure I like to be aware of what’s happening in the world, but give me an emotional and mental break from it all. Some days I just love scrolling up and down my timeline seeing all of the powerful women and men I follow with their powerful and inspiring quotes and tweets. Sometimes you just need to wrap yourself in a bubble of positivity and leave that other mess on the outside.

instagram_new-512For Instagram: Unfollow

News is never “new” for long and it’s only a matter of time before it’s just completely over-saturated with the same things. Example: Beyonce announcing her pregnancy, well for starters, that’s not news to me, but seeing that SAME damn picture up and down my feed for two days straight annoyed the crap outta me. Everybody posting the same thing at the same time. The same memes, the same quotes cropping out the originator to make it seem like it’s theirs. The same twerk videos, the same fight videos, nonsense. Just hit the unfollow button. You won’t miss them. Trust me.

Sometimes when using social media we confuse being informed as being immersed and we spent hours scrolling and clicking through our social media apps and when it’s laden with negative images, bad news, and just overall ridiculousness, it can affect our mental and emotional health and leaves us in a bad state of mind. Just as you designate certain days to clean house, make sure you are taking the time to clean up your social media often.

xoxo

Imma Throw Shade if I Can’t Get Paid

Disclaimer: In no way is this post a means to throw shade, but I get asked often if I’m still freelancing for certain media sites and my answer is NO. I’m just putting it out there for inquiring minds before I get started. 

Monday mornings, 3-5 pitches a week, research, deadlines, and pay per work contracts were a normal part of my daily routine as a freelancer. I would have to brainstorm 3-5 pitches each Monday to send to my editor for approval. There were days when my “word well” ran dry and I found myself surfing the web and other media sites targeted to my audience to see what was popular or trending. I would even use personal experiences and encounters as the basis for many of my articles.

There are several perks to freelancing should you decide to make a living out of it, but there’s also a high level of discomfort and unrest when trying to make it your sole means of income. First, the perks…you in a way work for yourself. You create your pitches and sometimes when you find yourself stump on ideas, they’ll provide some for you. You can freelance from anywhere in the world as long as there’s internet access.

On the downside, however, you are working for someone else when it comes to getting paid, although you can freelance from anywhere in the world as long as there’s internet access, you can’t really afford to be anywhere in the world other than home or local because you just don’t get paid enough with these pay-per-work contracts. Worst of all, you don’t get paid when you’re supposed to.

Whenever you sign a freelance contract, there are pay dates. Some freelancers get partial payment if it’s a one time project and will get the rest at the completion of the project. Some freelancers get paid bi-weekly just as a regular employee and then some get paid an accumulated sum of money for the work they’ve done for the month. Finances are unpredictable. You save, but then an unexpected bill surfaces, or you have to tap into emergency funds or you’re expected to get paid on a certain date per your contract, but when it doesn’t happen it messes up your entire flow. I found myself there all the time. Pushing deadlines, trying to keep my content creative and original, late nights because I can’t seem to get what’s in my head onto the computer screen only to be told that my payment will be late without even knowledge of when I can expect it by. So I’ve found myself in the red with so many bills, things getting cut off, subscriptions being cancelled, not being able to pay for things because I couldn’t get paid. We’re halfway into October and I’m just receiving payments from July. I haven’t even gotten August’s payment and I have no idea when I will.

So my logic is…you want your work on time? Pay me on time? Other wise I can do this s**t for myself.

What am I doing now?

My own s**t. I’m resurrecting this blog site after a two month hiatus. I’m editor in chief of Black Girl Magik where I’m managing writers and contributors. I’m also editing a teen fiction manuscript. At the end of the day, you can’t make people appreciate your work and your time, but you can do that for yourself.

xoxo

Setting Up A Seat at the Table for a Glass of Lemonade

This year I’ve found myself heavily immersed in the Knowles doctrine with Lemonade earlier this year and now A Seat at the Table for the later half. I found myself connecting with both on a spiritual level. I appreciated the evolution of a woman scorned in Beyonce’s Lemonade and from that I found that it’s okay to have the feelings that we have without falling privy to the Angry Black Woman stereotype. For the first time, I didn’t see Beyonce, I saw a woman. A woman dealing with grief, breaking unhealthy patterns, heart break, bitterness and still CHOOSING to transcend. Still choosing to turn those bitter lemons into something sweet.

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I listened to A Seat at The Table feeling proud. Proud that a woman released a 21 track womanifesto on taking up space and creating our own ish. “What can you bring to the table?” I brought the damn table! I got my life this weekend at the neighborhood bar in Jersey City when they decided to play “Don’t Touch My Hair” and all the white folk was staring like “what is this?” Go off. My hair stands up and my skin rises a little when I proudly proclaim, “this shit is for us…”

Far too often, I hear women saying they’re waiting for their seats at the table. For any of us, at any given moment in our lives, that table has no many different meanings whether you’re trying to find your footing in your career, get a handle on your love life, or just be a different person than you were last year, I say, f**k that table. I’ve gotten to a place in my life where I’m tired of waiting, expecting, and anticipating. I realize I can set up my own table and pull up my own seats to that table and brew my own lemonade.

I was sitting in the coffee shop on Saturday, reading a book and reflecting and I thought about how tired I am. Like emotionally and physically exhausted and I thought about my emotions in particular. I thought about how I’m just so disappointed in people these days and I decided in that moment that I don’t have to be.

So I’m brewing my own lemonade. I’m not waiting for life to turn those bitter things in my life into something sweet, I’m doing it myself. I’m not waiting for someone to give me a chance. I’m creating my own opportunities.

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So I leave you with this:

  • Think about what you want to be
  • GO BE IT!
  • Think about what you want to do
  • GO DO IT!
  • Think about the things you need
  • GO GET IT!

xoxo