In my quest to understand men from men, I stumbled across an article that was headlined as “Pretty Woman’s Face is Like Cocaine to the Male Brain.” I thought about the countless arguments that take place on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram about this created binary that pretty women usually lack intelligence and that smart and intelligent women usually aren’t seen as attractive, but as intimidating to men making them undatable. So I surveyed my think tank of men inquiring about their thoughts on the matter:

Phonto (8)

I don’t think it’s rare… Pretty and intelligent are both subject to opinion and personal level of intellect. ~29

Society and the media propagates that pretty girls spend so much time being pretty they aren’t intellectually aware. And the opposite, intelligent girls are always in a book and not using makeup, doing their hair or shopping. Look at some of the original rom-coms. ~30

I think the media is to blame for this. The media is constantly telling us what is “beautiful” and what is “intelligent”. That is a very unusual debate to be having to me because what is intelligent and beautiful varies from person to person and culture to culture. I think everyone has both qualities in their own way. ~27

I look for both! I think it is indeed a “rare” occasion where you find both, but I do know it’s out here. ~28

Phonto (10)

You gotta go for the one that’s more mentally stimulating…you’ll recognize the natural beauty in that..physical beauty can eventually wear off. ~25

I asked my Dad why his first marriage didn’t work out. He simply looked at me and asked, “Son, would you share your life and your bed with a beautiful fool?”…I think he was trying to quote Coming to America or something…but still lol ~24

I need that conversation. ~23

I’d definitely have to go with the woman with more brains. You can’t fix that…lol! If her body is okay, then we can work with that as there are plenty of ways to stimulate attraction to the outer appearance, but if she can’t hold a conversation, I can’t get with it. ~27

She’s gotta have good conversation. ~23

I honestly say get what you want. It’s perfectly okay to put both of them in the FRIEND ZONE!!! ~29

I think it’s safe to say that beauty and intelligence are two things that are both relative in the eyes of the beholder. So can a woman be beautiful AND intelligent? Yes, yes she can and it seems that more men prefer her with an arsenal of knowledge.

There’s a saying that goes: A girl in her bed on a Sunday are an endless love affair. Well ain’t that the truth. Just as the Lord rested on the seventh day, I do like to designate my Sundays not only to prepare for the week, but also to rest and caught on all the sleep that I missed during the week. So I start my Sundays with a fresh face mask, a warm and relaxing shower, a quick and simple breakfast and my bed.

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For most of us, our bed is this magical place where anything can go down (mind out the gutter people). Seriously, it’s like the Barney bag, but it seems that everything you need for the day magically finds it’s way on to your bed and in the crevices of your bundled up blankets. So if you’re planning to spend your day as I am, in bed, here are five things you can do that don’t require you to get up except for bathroom breaks, food and to stretch your legs.

Let’s Go to Church

So I’m learning the importance of fellowship while on your spiritual walk. I’m learning, but I still haven’t stepped foot in a church yet this year, however I still like that I can watch all of my favorite preachers right from my laptop or my phone via Periscope or Livestream. It wouldn’t be possible for me to fly out to Texas every Sunday to see Joel Osteen. I certainly can’t afford to fly out to Singapore to see Joseph Prince and as cool as One Church is, LA ain’t happening every Sunday either. Even though I am not there to witness the sermon and lessons in person, they are still as powerful as if I were.

12821519_10153733094376997_466760158466736386_nRead a Book

Although I don’t watch much tv, I’ve gotten too busy to read a book too and have substituted that for Netflix because it’s quick and easier. I wouldn’t be myself if I wasn’t lost in some good fiction to crack open that book that’s been sitting on the shelf since last year that you haven’t read yet. I currently cracked opened Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard I can’t wait to finish it so I can get the next book in the series. I usually like to keep my music playlist at random when reading, so I’m in the mood for a bit of folk. Aside from Jessica Day being my kindred spirit, I love Zoey Deschanel’s band She & Him.

Deep Condition Your Hair

For the last year I’ve been doing protective styling such as braids because with an on the go lifestyle that I had, it was easier to wake up and go, but my poor hair has been neglected. The thing I love about deep conditioning is that even though the bottle directions say leave in for 15 minutes before rinsing you can leave it in all day for a softer, cleaner feel after rinsing it. It’s a natural hair thing and when you have 4C hair like mine, it takes a lot longer for the moisturizing components of a product to really soak in those locks. If you already have clean hair, you can always grab a cream moisturizer and twist your hair in bed as well.

Do An Ab Workout

For the lazy girl who really wants to workout but getting to the gym is just too much of a hassle. There are several workout that can be done without even getting out of bed. That is a new level of Sunday laziness in my book, but effective nonetheless.

Watch Fuller House


I started watching this and at first I thought it was a bit cheesy, but it did channel all the nostalgic feels! I love how it’s studio and live recorded. That’s when television was the best. I hope they decided to reboot shows like Good Times, A Different World, Family Matters, etc. I would have a reason to watch tv again.

So that’s how my Sunday is looking. Even if you decide to do nothing on my list, the key point is rest. Let yourself relax a bit, take a day to recuperate.

There is nothing more refreshing than taking a warm shower to start and end your day. One of the most important things to me is knowing that the products I use are environmentally safe, plant based and for the most part free of harsh chemicals. As a pre-teen even into my early 20’s I suffered from the worst kind of acne. I had it plastered all over my face, chest, back and shoulders. My self-esteem was extremely low, but when I got older and learned more about how acne is caused by hormonal imbalances I began to be more conscious about the things I applied to my skin. Benzyl Peroxide was one chemical that didn’t agree with the natural chemical make up of my body and it leaved my skin more acne prone. When I made the switch to all natural products and even changed my diet, I gradually started to see changes. Here are a list of products that have worked for me faithfully and they also smell extremely good!

500Burt’s Bees Naturally Nourishing Milk & Honey Body Lotion, $7.99

This lotion is dermatologist-tested and contains milk, honey, vitamin E as well as coconut and grape seed oil. It keeps your skin moisturized and soft for an entire day sometimes even longer. It has a thick and creamy consistency which is what I need for the harsh cold weather as my skin is super absorbent. It smells so good, that you can even skip spritzing on perfume for the day as it contains 100 percent natural fragrances. It also doesn’t leave your skin feeling sticky or greasy.

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Ology Body Wash Almond Oil & Shea Butter, $5.99

After so many body washes left my skin feeling extremely dry and flaky, I fell in love with this stuff. It’s naturally scented that reminds me of Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia ice cream. It’s contains almond oil and Shea butter that replenishes and moisturizes dry skin while sloshing away dead skin cells. This natural product is rich in fatty acids and doesn’t contain harsh chemicals such as paraben (number one dry factor), sulfates (number two dry factor) and is not animal tested and is 100 percent plant-based. If your showers are as long as mine are, you’ll create a nice steam of aromatherapy using Ology.

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Spectrum Coconut Oil, $8.99

Coconut oil is one of those things you can literally use for everything. It’s a great product for dental hygiene (oil pulling), it’s perfect for strengthening your nails and promoting nail growth (cuticle oil), it’s perfect for adding shine to your hair and it’s a great body oil for stretch marks and scars. Sometimes showering too much can strip your skin of their natural oils, so I use coconut oil and lather it all over my wet skin after showering (I don’t towel dry) I let my skin absorb the water and the coconut oil to create baby soft skin. It is usually non-scented so whatever lotion you decide to use afterwards it won’t collide with the scent. Did I mention you can use coconut oil for everything? I also use it when I’m baking sweets, of course not the same jar that I use for my body though.

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C. Booth’s 4-in-1 Multi Action Coconut Fig Body Lotion, $10.00

Now I know I’ve already given you a lotion, but some days I like to switch it up. This smells amazing and has wonder skin nurturing components. Its thin consistency allows you to exfoliate while firming and hydrating skin. It’s a little pricey, but the bottle is enormous, definitely not travel size. The combination of coconut and fig is amazing. This product is also free of petroleum, parabens, sulfates and mineral oil all which have drying abilities for the skin. This lotion will last you a very long time and is also a good substitute for spritzing on perfume. It’ll leave you smelling lovely all day.

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Botanics Shine Away Mattifying Cleansing Mousse, $6.74

I have tried ProActiv, I have tried Murad, I have tried every cream and wash prescribed by doctors and dermatologist and I’ve found that they’ve always made my skin worst. I have tricky skin, some days it’s oily, some days it’s dry and flaky and some days it’s perfect and baby soft and just smooth. I was afraid to use this product at first because I do have allergies triggered by plants, but I found that the naturalness of the product is what helped my skin glow and clear up. I love the fresh feeling that I get after I use this product. It’s mattifying abilities suck the excess oil out of my pores without over-drying. It’s creates an even tone and it’s a smooth cleanser. It’s not harsh on my skin at all. This product contains the active plant extract, Willowbark that helps to refine the skin. Not to mention it costs less than half of big brand products.

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Botanics All Bright Hydrating Day Cream SPF 15, $12.49

After I’ve done all the washing and scrubbing and rinsing for a fresh face, the hard part begins. What kind of moisturizer am I going to use that isn’t going to have my face shining like a Christmas tree? It doesn’t matter if it’s hot and humid outside or cold and dry outside my face is always greasy and shiny and I hate it. So when I used this for the first time, I was expecting it to be no different. It was a hot and humid summer when I first bought this so I knew my face was going to be especially greasy, but I was wrong. It kept my oil production regulated, and even supplied a healthy dosage of sun protection and left my skin even smoother. It also smells really good and you don’t need to use a lot, just a few dabs on the cheeks, chin, nose and forehead and massage it into the skin in a circular motion to awaken those cells.


Lush Mask of Magnaminty, $13.00

For some of us we live by the home remedy of toothpaste, but to be honest using toothpaste as a spot treatment does more harm to you skin because it oxidates that area killing skin layers. Mask of Magnaminty is the perfect solution. It has a minty scent and tingly feel, but also contains clay which creates moisture for the skin as well as aduki beans for a gentle exfoliating effect. For those days when you just want to lounge while also cleansing this mask definitely allows for a personal at home spa appointment. It can also be used as a spot treatment to zap an unexpected pimple without too much drying.

So there, I have given you lotions, oils, scrubs and face products. Now go forth and be great!

*All of these products pricing is based on Lush however can be found at Lush Cosmetics online or in your nearest Lush retailer.