Six Guys You Meet on OkCupid

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After being single, for some time, I decided it would be nice to meet some people. See what the dating life is like these days. So my friend recommended Tinder, but who really goes on Tinder looking for a serious date? I learned that the hard way when I was disgusted by the men I “matched” with. I found OkCupid to be a little bit more intriguing though. There were all types of guys, but I began to notice a pattern or a specific type of guy I kept running into. I’m sure this stands true for several of you who have tried online dating and I’m sure we can all agree on these six types of guys you’re more than likely to run into.

1. The Yuppie. The guy with hella post of himself in what appears to be expensive suits, standing in front of a luxury car. The guy with pictures of himself smoking a cigar, probably Cuban with an expensive bottle of champagne. He’ll message you, and will probably say something like, “Hey nice to meet you, I think you’re gorgeous. I would love to take you on vacations and dates and show you the world.” Earth to Christian Grey, this is real life, not 50 shades, so asking someone you don’t know online to go n vacations with you is creepy. His profile will probably outline his yuppie education with a job description as either, law, medical, or other because he’s working as a business consultant and owns several small ventures.

2. The Illiterate. Either he’s typing too fast and isn’t spell checking or he just can’t spell. He’ll start off by saying, “U is beautiful. Let’s meat.” or “Waz gud. I red ur profile and thot u was intesting.” Ummm…I don’t know about you, but I work for the grammar police and this would boil my blood. It’s just a red flag and the quickest way to get ignored or blocked.

3. The “Trap Thug.” Sometimes synonymous to “The Illiterate,” but is different because this is the guy you’ll most likely see in someone’s entourage posing in sidewalk pictures in front of what appears to be a rundown row-house. This is the “Waz gud ma” guy who thinks the best way to entice women is by posting wads of cash, weed, and gold chains in his profile pictures. The guy with the golden teeth that makes it hard for him to talk without slobbing. Granted, most women like a little danger, but that’s just reckless living and I’ll pass.

4. The Average Joe. He’s just a typical button up and slacks kind of  guy. Sometimes jeans and a tee. Most of his pictures are backyard pictures, or bar pictures, or living room pictures with family members. He has a typical education and works in business. He’s usually just looking for some normal conversation and maybe a couple of dates and someone who could eventually meet his family.

5. The “I’m Just Gonna Try My Luck” Guy. This guy seriously makes you wonder, did you even read my profile? He’s usually the least compatible ever from religious beliefs to lifestyle choices. My preferences said between 25-30, sir you look like you’re 50. No smoking, and you smoke a pack a day. Spiritual preference is important to me, but you’re an atheist. You didn’t read my profile, you just looked at my pictures and figured you would try your luck. Well, you got unlucky.

6. The Artist, “What is Life?” Guy. His profile doesn’t say much about him except that he’s into art and love anime. His profile pictures seem like some experimental photography project. He’s a writer and poet. Usually a student with no real place of employment. Makes for good conversation and friendship, but dating probably won’t go anywhere further.

You spend hours filling out profile questions and uploading your best picture and even if you match with 250 guys, you’ll meet these six types over and over again in all these men.

The Benefits of Sisterhood in Our Community

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Whenever I find myself in a bind or need some advice, I always assemble what I call the “think-tank” comprised of my closest friends. I can’t help but feel like i’m assembling the Justice League at a round table to solve a crime, but in reality I get the mass 9-1-1 emergency group text going as sit back and listen and get the full perspective of all my friends. I couldn’t imagine where I would be without the sisterhood in my life and why it’s so beneficial.

Women are often stereotyped with being “petty”, “drama-queens” and it is said that we just don’t get along with each other. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard a young lady state that she does not like to hang around other women because it’s too much drama. We as women need to reestablish what it means to be a sisterhood no matter what parts of life we stem from. There are several benefits of having a strong sisterhood.

Sisterhood helps to build accountability relationships. Whether you are struggling financially, spiritually, physically or academically you can depend on your sisterhood network to help you through it and hold you accountable to your growth plan. Having someone call you up or check in on you to make sure you are holding up your end of your solution plan is necessary. When times get rough we all need the cushion of sisterhood to fall back on. We all need a sisterhood support system to point us in the right direction to getting help for anything in our lives.

Sisterhood helps us improve our self-image and create our own identities. As women we often are our own worst critics when it comes to our appearance. We also become body obsessed with images of “perfection” according to what we see in different mediums. Being around other women helps us to feel good about ourselves and confident in embracing our individuality. A great example of this would be the national campaign launched by Dove that focuses on women of different sizes and colors. The campaign was one of the first to challenge beauty standards in USA. It’s forced women all over to work to redefine what beauty is in the hopes of boosting self-esteem in all of us.

Sisterhood can be very uplifting and empowering which in turn offers great support systems. These support systems help us learn about our own selves and get us through the toughest of times. They also help us celebrate the good in our lives as a unit. We embrace our struggles, celebrate our accomplishments and our cultural heritage.

Sisterhood teaches us a great lesson on love and patience. As women, we are biologically more emotionally driven than men are which means that the way we resolve conflicts are different. Sometimes we get emotional and say or do things we shouldn’t. It takes a lot of patience and love to get through even the worst of times together.

I also realized how important sisterhood was to my spiritual journey. As someone raised on Christian principles, I have always found myself teetering between the practices of the faith and just completely distancing myself from it. I’m constantly warring between what I’ve been taught to believe and the beliefs that I’ve formulated myself. Whenever I find myself at a crossroads or at a standstill spiritually I know that I can always rely on some of my network of sisters to help me find clarity, pray with me, for me or do a devotional with me to help me through. When in doubt and when I want to push them away, I’ve learned to pull them closer.

So before you consider knocking friendships with women because of drama, think of all the benefits that come along with it. As women we need to learn to stick together against all odds and call on our own Justice League “think tank” from time to time.